


No Matter What

by fandommatchmaker19



Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-20
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2020-01-22 23:48:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18537958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fandommatchmaker19/pseuds/fandommatchmaker19
Summary: Vic can’t breathe. The air feels like it was knocked out of her lungs, and not because she’d just almost watched the woman fall to her death. Warren and Andy are treating her, but Vic’s attention is focused on the words coming out of Sullivan’s mouth.This is a 2x14 fix and a possible 2x15.





	No Matter What

**Author's Note:**

> Two weeks is wayy too long. We won't survive. 😭

Vic can’t breathe. The air feels like it was knocked out of her lungs, and not because she’d just almost watched the woman fall to her death. Warren and Andy are treating her, but Vic’s attention is focused on the words coming out of Sullivan’s mouth.

She feels like she’s underwater because she can’t quite make out what Sullivan is saying.

“-it’s Luke… Grey Sloan… he has severe smoke inhalation… his heart… he might- Hughes, you should really come,” he’s saying, but Vic can’t make out the full information. Except the bits she does make out make her stomach churn and knock the breath out of her lungs. “Hughes?” he asks, his hands on her shoulder. “Vic?” Sullivan tries more gently, his voice taking on a soft quality Vic isn’t used to. She shakes her head, inhales sharply, exhales and closes her eyes briefly.

“Wh- what?” she breathes, opening her eyes.

“He was asking for you,” Sullivan says softly. “What were you doing here?”

“I was just- I just- we- no, he’s- he’s fine- we were- I proposed to him,” she gasps out, the words coming out practically intelligible.

“Hughes, we need to go,” Sullivan says, but Vic can’t move. She’s frozen as her mind repeats and tries to make sense of what her captain had just told her.

“N- no- we- we were supposed to meet and he- he-” she’s cut off from her rambling by Andy, who grabs her none too gently.

“Vic, can you hear me?” She nods. “You’re spinning. Stop. Take a deep breath,” Vic does as she says. “Okay. Look, Chief Ripley’s at Grey Sloan and he’s in a critical condition, but he’s alive. He was asking for you and we’ve been trying to reach you. We have to go, okay?” Andy says and she nods again, letting her friend drag her to the Aid Car. Andy and Sullivan hop in the back with the patient while Vic and Warren take the front. Warren is spouting out medical terms left and right, but it’s making Vic dizzy more than it’s helping.

“Warren! Stop it!” she snaps finally before snapping her gaze out the window. Warren glances over at her in concern. “Sorry, it’s just- you’re not helping,” she lowers her tone.

“Yeah, sorry,” the no-longer-rookie says as he drives. In the back, she can hear Andy and Sullivan do their best to keep the patient alive.

The reach the hospital in no time, and then Travis is there waiting for her with open arms. She lets her best friend hug her, wrap her in his arms, burying her head in the crook of his neck. Then, Travis guides her inside, walking her to the waiting room where Dean, Maya and Gibson are along with a curly haired, caramel skinned doctor.

“Where is he?” she manages to utter, biting hard on her lower lip to keep her tears at bay. She won’t break, not here, not now.

“Are you Vic?” the doctor says, turning around, and Vic immediately recognizes her as Dr. Pierce, who’d treated Travis and helped them with the rescue they did when Sullivan had just come to station 19, so many months ago. Vic braces herself.

“Yeah,” she manages to respond.

“Okay, come with me,” she says, motioning for Vic and Travis to follow her.

“Vic, he’s been asking for you. He’s in a critical condition, but we’re monitoring him closely. He inhaled a lot of smoke at the fire and it caused a lot of damage to his heart-” Vic cuts her off.

“He had a heart attack?” she braces herself for the answer.

“Not yet,” Dr. Pierce says, and at the confused look on Vic’s face, rushes to explain. “Not yet means he will. He could have a heart attack any moment and we’d have to rush him to surgery, but he- all he wanted to do was see you and he almost left and I pretty much had to put an intern at his door to keep him in there. He’s… he’s a ticking time bomb,” Dr. Pierce explains as they reach one of the rooms.

For a second time in the past hour, she feels like she can’t breathe yet again. Lucas is lying in a hospital bed, just beyond the door in front of her and Vic can hear the rhythmic beep of the machines that are keeping him alive and she loses all sense.

“Vic, you should go in,” Travis says from behind her and Vic lets out a shaky breath.

“You don’t have much time, I’m sorry,” Dr. Pierce adds and Vic nods.

[She knows she has to, but there’s a part of her that hopes she’s going to wake up soon to find him lying in bed with her, or coming out of the shower, or walking through the door of the diner – their place – sporting one of his signature smiles and wrapping her in his arms]. But, alas, he doesn’t, so Vic pushes the door and enters, letting out another shaky breath. He looks up immediately, his gaze meeting hers and Vic sags, feeling all the fight she had leave her. [She’d been angry at him. Once her brain had caught up to the events that had occurred, the panic had made way for anger. Towards him]. But, staring into his beautiful, blue eyes, Vic feels all that anger leave her, giving way to relief. Relief that he’s there, alive, breathing, despite the fact that he’s doing that with the help of monitors. She rushes forward, perching herself on his bed, arms reaching out towards him before she stops herself.

“Vic,” he says softly and then Vic’s eyes focus on his face.

“Lucas…” she breathes, fingers reaching out to cup his cheek. “What…” she trails off.

She hadn’t really planned this part. In the Aid Car, the only thought she’d been fixated on had been Lucas being okay and not dead, but she hadn’t actually thought he would be awake and okay, so she hadn’t really been thinking what she might say to him.

“Vic…” he repeats, voice hoarse and filled with emotion. She’s sitting so close to him that if she leaned down just a bit, she could kiss him. “Vic, I’m so sorry I didn’t show up at the diner,” he says and Vic shakes her head, opening her mouth to say something, but he keeps going. “I was- I was buying flowers. I-want-to-spend-the-rest-of-my-life-with-you-flowers. I was going to say yes. Even yesterday. I’d say yes a million time, Victoria Hughes,” he confesses and Vic feels her eyes fill with tears yet again.

“You idiot,” she mutters. “You think- you think I care about that?” she wonders, her own eyes filled with tears.

“I’m so sorry,” he sighs.

“You idiot!” she repeats, and anger courses through her, and Vic lets it. “YOU IDIOT! Lucas Ripley you are the biggest idiot I’ve ever met! You inhaled smoke and didn’t get checked out? You’ve been coughing? You could have a heart attack?” she yells, but Lucas doesn’t say anything. She tears into him, and he lets her, until she has no more anger, no more fight left, “-I’m going to KILL YOU! You make it out of surgery and I-”

“Victoria,” he cuts her off, reaching to rest his hands on her arms. “Victoria, please, stop,” he says gently and her lip quivers. “It’s going to be okay. I’m going to make it. I’m coming back to you, okay?” he whispers the last part, his own voice filled with emotion. And, Vic breaks. [She’d been trying so hard to be strong, to keep it in, but she can’t do it anymore]. Tears stream down her face and she starts sobbing as Lucas simply lies there helplessly. [Her whole body hurts. Her heart hurts]. And, then she bends down to wrap herself around him, clinging desperately to him as she sobs. Lucas wraps his arms around her, holding her as best as he can as she falls apart.

“Don’t leave me,” she whispers in the crook of his neck. “I can’t- I won’t survive, Luke,” she sobs as Lucas continues to rub her back.

Eventually, her sobs subside and she hiccups as she pulls away, her eyes meeting his. Lucas cups her cheek gently, his own eyes red rimmed.

“Hey,” he says gently. “I’m not leaving. I’m coming back to you, okay?” he says softly and Vic feels her eyes fill with tears. “Don’t cry, Vic. Please don’t cry,” he says as wipes her tears with his thumb,

Vic just shakes her head and leans down, closing the gap between them, her lips brushing against his. Lucas responds immediately, his own arms wrapping around her waist, cupping the back of her neck, his fingers tangling in her hair. She deepens the kiss, slipping her tongue into his mouth as he kisses her back, softly, gently, languidly. Their tongues tangle together, lips salty with tears as she presses her body closer to his. The kiss is tender, sweet, but at the same time desperate.

It’s the beeping of the heartrate monitor that makes Vic pulls away, resting her forehead against his.

“It’s going to be okay,” he says, but he sounds unconvinced.

“And, what if it’s not? What if you- what if you- I can’t… I can’t even fathom it, Luke. I can’t lose you,” she says, voice breaking.

“I know. I know, Vic,” he mutters. “I don’t want to- I don’t want that either,” he says, his own voice cracking. Vic glances over at him, and notices a stray tear roll down his cheek. Vic gently wipes it away before lying further down on the bed so she can stroke his hair in comfort.

“It’s going to be okay,” she says softly. “It’s going to be okay, Luke,” she says softly, pressing a kiss to his forehead. They lie like that for a while, and eventually Lucas drifts asleep.

Vic watches him, trying to commit every detail about him to memory, but she doesn’t think they would ever have enough time.

He wakes up thirty minutes later, his eyes drifting around, disoriented, until they settle on her.

“Hey,” he breathes, his blue eyes gazing deeply into hers.

“Hey,” she smiles, fingers gently stroking his cheek. He smiles back, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes, and Vic presses another kiss to his lips. Lucas smiles into the kiss as his tongue slips into her mouth. Yet again, the beeping of the machine breaks them apart, so Vic settles for stroking his hair.

“Luke…” she breathes shakily, feeling tears prickle at her eyes. She can see that Lucas’ own eyes are red-rimmed and swimming with tears, so she presses another kiss to his forehead.

Vic can feel her tight hold on her emotions slipping, can feel herself break, but she knows that she can’t. [Not right now, at least, when he needs her].

“Why are you-” she blurts, but he cuts her off, pressing a chaste kiss to her lips, his hands cupping her cheek. His eyes lock with hers once he pulls away. “Don’t…” she trails off.

“Vic, my beautiful, brave girl,” he says softly, lips twitching in an almost smile. “I want you, too. I want to be with you for real, all in, marriage and everything, “I’m going to be okay, Vic,” he says after a while, though his own voice breaks. “I’m coming back, okay?” he asks softly when she finally pulls away and her tear-filled eyes meet his. She nods, though deep down there’s a tiny part of her that can’t believe him, but she pushes that part down.

“I’ve never said it before because I was- I don’t know, afraid, or something… but, Lucas, I love you. I am so in love with you and I just- I need you to be okay. Okay?” she manages to make out in between sobs. He nods.

“I love you, too, Victoria. So much. You are the best thing that happened to me and you took me completely by surprise, but I just- I’m in love with you, too. And, I want to spend the rest of my life with you because you make me so happy. So incredibly happy,” he says and Vic can see that he’s crying a little, too.

There isn’t anything else she can do in that moment except kiss him. She crashes her lips against his, salty and wet from tears, and he responds immediately, deepening the kiss as she slips her tongue into his mouth, her hands cupping his cheeks as his arms wrap around her waist, pulling her closer. The kiss is urgent, desperate, both of them aware and trying to prolong the inevitable. It’s every unspoken word, every feeling, every look, ever touch, all in one kiss, their lips completely in sync. [Vic never wants to stop kissing him].

The beeping of the monitor alerts them, and they pull away hastily, resting their foreheads against each other, gasping breaths mingling. Reluctantly, she pulls away and locks gazes with him.

“I love you,” he whispers headily.

“I love you, too,” she replies, voice thick with emotion. “Just, please…” she trails off, unable to form a coherent sentence.

“I’m coming back to you, Victoria. I promise,” he says and Vic nods through her tears.

“You better. I am not losing you, Lucas. I am not letting you go,” she sobs.

“I-” he starts to say, and then everything goes wrong.

The heart monitor starts beeping and Vic notices that Lucas had gone limp.

[She’d done this before, she’d seen patients collapse, go limp, she’d heard this sound, but nothing had ever prepared her for this].

The feeling returns. That feeling of panic, of not being able to breathe, of her heart racing. Her throat constricts and she feels like she can’t breathe yet again, like she’s underwater. She’s having a panic attack, she knows, but it hardly even matters as her hands lower the bed and she begins performing CPR.

An army of doctors rushes in, and someone takes over the compressions as Dr. Pierce starts shouting orders.

“-take him to OR 3, now! Somebody get her out of here! We have to intubate! Push epi!” she shouts, but Vic just stands there, frozen still. Arms wrap around her waist, pulling her out of the room, but Vic fights, shaking her head vehemently, her body trembling as her hands reach towards him.

“Luke-” his name comes out all choked as she’s being dragged away. “Lucas!” she repeats, but it doesn’t seem like anyone hears her. “Lucas!” she shouts, louder this time.

She reaches for Pierce then, and the other woman glances over at her.

“Dr. Pierce?” her voice is small, broken, and Vic tries to make it sound less so. “He’s got to make it. He- you saved my best friend once and now I need- please save him, too,’ she says, voice barely above a whisper.

“I will do my best, Vic. I promise,” Dr. Pierce says, a kind smile on her lips.

“I- I love him,” she manages to say before she’s being pulled out of the room as the doctors start wheeling Lucas towards the OR.

Only once she’s out of the room and in the hallway does she realize it was Sullivan who had dragged her out. She glances over at her captain to see the stricken look on his face before she steps away from him.

“He’s got to make it,” she mutters. “He has to-” she cuts herself off, swallows back tears and exchanges one last glance with Sullivan before marching to the waiting room where the rest of her team is waiting.

* * *

The waiting room feels all too cloying as she sits along with everyone else, everyone watching her, their eyes filled with concern. Jennifer is there, sitting with Gibson, and the rest of the team are there, too, doing their best to be supportive. Travis is sitting next to her, and Warren is perched behind her, coffee in hand. Vic is well aware that the secret’s out, that everyone knows about her and Lucas, but she doesn’t give a damn. Not anymore.

“Do you need something?” Andy asks after a while. Vic shakes her head before leaning back against the armchair.

It goes on like this for a while, Vic doing her best to fight back tears while everyone else is watching her. She looks up to meet the curious, piercing gazes of her team, and looks away immediately before getting up.

She can’t sit there another minute.

“Vic?” Travis stands up with her, reaching for her. “Do you need something?” Vic shakes her head.

“No, I’m fine. I just need to get out of here,” she snaps before walking away.

_I need to get out of here,_ she repeats like a mantra in her head.

She wonders through the halls of the hospital until they become the same, until she doesn’t know where she’s going anymore, until it feels like she’s walking in circles.

“Vic?” Andy’s voice snaps her out of her haze, and she turns immediately.

“I’m fine, Andy. I’m all good,” she says defensively, but Andy clearly doesn’t believe her.

“No you’re not. You need a closet,” her friend says, grasping her hand. “Come with me.”

“A closet?” Vic asks, wrenching her hand out of Andy’s grasp. “I told you, Andy, I’m fine-”

“No, Vic, you’re not. Look, I don’t care about you and Ripley- the relationship, the secret, that doesn’t matter right now. But, you’re clearly overwhelmed and I remember I felt like this, too, when my dad collapsed at that apartment fire. And, one of the doctors here, Dr. Grey took me to a closet so I could let all my feelings out. C’mon, I think it’ll help,” Andy grabs her hand again, and this time Vic lets her.

Andy ends up being right because Vic breaks, for a second time the moment Andy closes the door to the supply closet. She sobs and yells and cries until her throat is raw and her knees feel like Jell-O. Andy catches her when she collapses and breaks down in her friend’s arms.

When, Vic finally calms down and joins the others in the waiting room, an hour had already passed.

“Any- any updates?” Vic asks shakily, plopping down on the couch beside Travis. Travis shakes his head.

Another hour passes. Sullivan returns and sits down beside Andy.

“Sorry, just had to deal with some SFD things. Frankel called a meeting to figure out who’s stepping up as temporary chief long-term, but Frankel will do it for now since we have no idea where the deputy chief is,” he rolls his eyes and leans back.

He’s met by a chorus of agreement. Miller goes to grab more coffee and Maya goes with him. Warren says he’ll try getting an update, and leaves. The blonde woman who had been sitting with Gibson, stands up and comes over to Vic.

“Hi, I’m Jennifer. Luke’s sister,” she says softly, shyly. She’s younger than Lucas and there are dried tears on her cheeks. “You must be Victoria,” she says kindly.

“Yeah, I um… I’m Vic,” she greets her, getting up to shake her hand. “Nice meeting you,” she tries to force a smile, but fails.

“Likewise, though I wish it was under better circumstances,” Jennifer says softly. “Anyways, I’m, um, I’m going to go call our mum and my husband and- I need some coffee, too. Let me know if there are any updates,” Jennifer says, grabbing her purse. Vic just nods, numbly.

Time passes, Vic knows because she keeps staring at the clock on the wall, but to her it feels as if it stands still. People trickle in and out of the waiting room, including Frankel, Pruitt and some other captains. Jennifer comes back, and later a nice-looking man in a suit joins her. Warren comes back and tells them that they’re still working on him, but he doesn’t know anything else.

“Pierce is good,” he says matter-of-factly, patting her shoulder.

Miller returns, sans Maya, and Andy rolls her eyes. [Vic wonders briefly if the two are having an argument again, but she can’t bring herself to care about it when Lucas is fighting for his life. She knows she might be selfish, but she doesn’t care in this particular moment].

Gibson and Maya return several minutes later, and then everyone resumes their initial position, and Vic can feel herself starting to suffocate again. The feeling of not being able to breathe returns, her heart starts pounding in her chest, and the panic sets in as she watches the hours tick by. She stands up abruptly, almost knocking the coffee off the table.

“Vic?” Travis stands up with her, but Vic shakes her hand.

“I need some air,” she says simply and starts walking in the direction of the hospital’s doors, but her best friend follows her until they’re completely outside and Vic feels the wind blow in her face, feels the fresh air wash over her.

“I don’t- I don’t know if I can do this,” she says, shaking her head.

“Yes you can, Vic. You can do this. Just breathe,” Travis reassures, gently patting her back. “It’s going to be okay, he’s going to make it,” he continues.

“And, then what?” she says as she tries to regulate her breathing. _In and out. In and out._

“And, then, you get to be with him. You get to have your very real, not-toilet-paper wedding,” Travis says softly.

Vic inhales sharply.

“What if we- what if he- I don’t think I can survive if I- if I lose him,” she says, her voice breaking. “I love him, Trav. I love him so much, I…” she breaks off, shaking her head.

“You’re not going to lose him. He’s going to make it. He’s going to survive,” Travis says, rubbing her back.

“I just…”

“Hey, what did I say? Just breathe, Vic. C’mon, in and out. In and out,” he urges her, breathing along with her. “What’s that song?” he asks and Vic immediately looks up at him. “The Teapot Song? C’mon, let’s sing it,” he says gently. “I’m a little teapot, short and stout,” Travis starts.

“Here’s my handle, here’s my spout,” Vic continues, her voice wavering.

“When I get all steamed up.”

“Here me shout,” she sings softly, voice breaking.

They continue like this until the song is over and Vic’s breaths are more even. Travis wraps an arm around her shoulder.

“Everything’s going to be okay, Vic,” he says softly.

“I can’t lose him, Travis. I only told him I love him for the first time before he-” she cuts herself off. “I should’ve said it before. I want to tell him I love him for the rest of my life,” she says, feeling that surge of panic return.

“And you will. You will, Vic. You’re going to tell him you love him so many times,” Travis says, pulling her closer.

“Thanks, Travis. Thanks for being here,” she says softly. “I know- I know it’s not easy for you…” she trails off.

“It’s not. But, you’re my best friend, Vic. Of course I’m here. And, I never want you to go through what I went through- what I’m still going through,” Travis glances over at her, and she can see that his own eyes are a little red-rimmed. “C’mon, let’s go back inside,” he says softly and gently pulls her in.

Vic returns to her spot from before and begins playing with a tissue from the box of Kleenex in front of her while singing the Teapot Song in her head. [Vic had never thought she would be in this position. Utterly helpless and so close to breaking down, waiting, hoping praying he makes it out alive].

“Vic? Jennifer?” Dr. Pierce says and the waiting room goes quiet, not that it had been particularly loud before. Vic’s gaze snaps over to her as she stands up shakily, bracing herself.

“He- uh, well, barring a few complications during surgery, Lucas made it through,” she says and Vic feels as if she can finally breathe properly. The rest of Dr. Pierce’s words are lost to her as her feet move of their own accord. “He’s in the ICU for now, but only family can go in, but we’ll take him to a recovery room in an hour or two,” she says kindly and Vic feels her stomach drop.

“No- I- II need to see him. Right now,” she says, but Dr. Pierce’s face is serious.

“I’m sorry, but hospital protocol- it’ll only be an hour, two at the most,” she says, resting her hand on Vic’s shoulder.

“Please, you can’t- you can’t do this. I- I need to see him,” she tries, her voice breaking.

“I’m really sorry, but hospital rules… I can- I can take you to the ICU and you can see him, but only family goes in, alright?” Dr. Pierce says kindly and Vic nods numbly. “Okay, well, c’mon,” she starts leading them through the hospital halls that all look the same to Vic until they reach the ICU area. Jennifer goes in, but Dr. Pierce stops Vic from following in. [Vic stops herself upon seeing him]. Lucas seems so utterly pale in the hospital bed, surrounded by tubes and wires, a tube down his throat helping him breathe, heartrate monitors showing his rhythm and Vic can hear blood rushing in her ears.

“Luke…” she gasps, her gaze locked on him.

“He’s going to be okay. We’ll monitor him closely over the next 24 hours and then he’ll have to go through an extensive recovery, but he’ll be fine,” Dr. Pierce says kindly.

“I… we almost got married,” she says. Maggie glances over at her. “He’s my boss. My _boss’ boss’ boss_. We’ve been secretly dating for the past seven or eight months and we wanted to be out in public. But, the consequences would’ve been really bad, so he suggested we get married. It was supposed to be a practical loophole,” she explains. “But, I didn’t want practical loophole toilet paper wedding. I wanted real. So, I proposed to him and he was supposed to show up at our place and we were going to talk, and I- I showed up there and he was late… And, now… I don’t care about any of that. I just want him to be okay,” Vic sniffles as tears prickle at her eyes. Hastily, she wipes them away. Maggie sighs.

“Okay, you know what, c’mon,” she ushers her through the door and into the room and Vic gasps as she reaches the bed. “You can… you can sit here with him, don’t worry,” Dr. Pierce pats her shoulder gently and then disappears out the door.

Vic grasps Lucas’ hand, her fingers rubbing over his calloused knuckles.

“You know, the first time he told me about you I laughed so hard I cried?” Jennifer is quiet on the other side of his bed. Vic looks up, furrowing her eyebrows. “Not because of you, Vic. My brother married his high school sweetheart and that marriage fell apart after he graduated from the Fire Academy and… 9/11…” she trails off. Vic nods, knowing fully well what happened. “Then, he rebounded with Eva, but she made him sleep on the couch because she hated that his job stole his attention. And, she cheated on him. So that was over, and well, Luke threw himself into this job. He had a few flings here and there, went on a few dates, but nothing. And, then one day he called me out of the blue to tell me he was seeing someone. I thought he was joking. But, then, I realized he wasn’t joking. I’m pretty sure he was in love with you even then form the way he was talking about you. We always joke that at least I succeeded in the marriage department,” Jennifer chuckles through her tears, “but I think with you… I guess for Luke’s it’s third time’s a charm. You’re his love. His one of a kind, forever love. And, he’s going to be just fine, so I can finally laugh at him for getting married again,” Jennifer kisses her brother’s hand.

“We’re not married, yet,” Vic looks up at Jennifer.

“Oh, I know. You will be,” she muses.

They continue sitting there, and eventually two hours pass, and the doctors move him to a recovery room, allowing Vic and Sullivan to be there.

Dr. Pierce lets them know they’re keeping him sedated.

Vic sits there for hours, and won’t go home to sleep, thus resulting in Travis having to bring her clothes from home along with some food. The rest of her team trickles in and out in shifts, sitting with her and Sullivan. Jennifer stays, but has to go home to her kids, and only leaves because it’s clear Lucas is okay. [Vic promises to call her if anything changes]. She plants a kiss on her brother’s forehead and is suddenly gone.

She dozes off at some point, her head resting on the side of the bed, but when she feels him stir, her eyes snap open immediately. It’s a slight movement, barely there, but she feels it and it wakes her up.

“Luke?” she asks softly, her eyes trained on him. “Lucas?”

She feels movement against her hand, and glances down to find that his fingers are wrapping themselves around her palm, squeezing weakly.

“Lucas?” she whispers. Her gaze snaps back to his face as she squeezes his hand back. And, then, finally, after what seems like forever, but is probably only a few seconds, Lucas’ beautiful blue eyes flutter open. “Luke?” she whispers shakily, leaning closer to him.

“Vic,” he whispers, voice hoarse as Vic grabs some water. “Vic,” he repeats, his voice less raspy. Tears start pouring down her face as she meets his gaze. “Victoria,” her full name rolls off his tongue.

“Luke…” she breathes, full of relief.

And, then, she leans down and crashes her lips to his. Lucas responds immediately, his hands resting on her back as he deepens the kiss, his own lips unyielding against hers as she slips her tongue into his mouth. Their tongues tangle together, their lips salty from tears. The kiss is urgent, desperate, full of raw, passionate emotion as Vic pours every feeling she’s ever felt for Lucas into this one kiss. Lucas kisses her back fiercely, pulling her to him so she’s basically lying on top of him.

The beeping of the heartrate monitor prompts Vic to pull away, and she rests her forehead against his.

“Victoria, I love you,” he whispers against her lips.

“Lucas… you’re pretty lovable, too,” she says emotionally. And, then, he tilts his head up and captures her lips for a kiss, and she kisses him back. This kiss is more gentle, soothing, more languid and slow, his lisp soft against hers.

* * *

Vic walks into her dark apartment and turns the light on. Her kitchen is a mess, takeout boxes cluttered on the table, empty glasses on the counter. She’s exhausted, physically, mentally emotionally as she drags her feet through the living room, to her bedroom. As she passes by the couch, it’s lying there and for a second Vic thinks it’s one of her station 19 crew shirts, but soon realizes it’s not and that feeling of endless pain washes over her yet again. [She’d managed to make it through shift without breaking, had managed to keep her emotions in, but she just couldn’t anymore].

She’d recognize that shirt anywhere, the number 88 printed on the sleeve and she brings it up to her face, sniffling as she inhales his scent that still seems to be clinging to the material of his shirt even so long after he’d last worn it. Tears prickle at her eyes as she nuzzles her face into the shirt, clinging desperately to it. She falls against the couch as she continues to nuzzle the shirt, holding the material as close to her as she can because it’s the only thing she still has of him and she can’t let it go. There’s a part of her that thinks he’ll walk out of the bedroom looking for one of his shirts, but that part soon dies down as Vic realizes that Lucas will never do that again. It still hurts even so long after, and Vic lets out a strangled sob.

“Vic? Victoria? Vic, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” his voice drifts through the haze, finally snapping her out of it. “Victoria? What’s wrong?”

Vic turns to him and he looks like he always does, blue eyes, messy blonde hair, beard, gentle smile on his lips.

“Vic, why are you crying?” he asks again and it finally occurs to Vic that she’d just had a nightmare as she reaches to cup his cheek. “Victoria, what’s wrong?”

“I thought you were dead,” she blurts, never having been a person who thinks things through. “I thought you- I was home and I found your station 88 shirt and I just… I- you almost died. You could’ve died,” she sobs as Lucas reaches for her, pulling her closer.

“Vic, I’m okay. I’m okay,” he says softly, and Vic’s eyes finally drift down to his chest that has a long scar right in the middle of it, still healing from surgery, “Victoria… I’m okay. I love you,” he says, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“I love you, too,” she cries. His curls are soft beneath her fingers as she wraps her hands around his neck and kisses him. Really, really kisses him. [Thoroughly. Desperately. Fiercely].


End file.
